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Stop being an emotional victim

Stop being Emotional Victims

  • Post category:Blog

Workplace Bullying

None of us like to think of ourselves as Emotional Victims. The term “victim” brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. Therefore, it comes as a shock to most of us to realise how often we allow ourselves to be emotional victims.

We are being victims when…

  • Anytime we give another person the power to define our worth
  • We make approval, when we give in to the other person
  • We are not responsible for our feelings of happiness and lovability. This is because we have allowed someone else to take over our decisions, destiny etc.
  • Blame for our feelings of fear, anger, hurt, aloneness, jealousy, disappointment, and so on are projected onto another individual
  • We choose to define ourselves externally; we are handing away power to others and we then feel controlled by their choices.

Take responsibility for your life

In order to be responsible for your own life and wellbeing and not become a victim, you have two choices:

  1. To take the decision to own your life, your destiny and take ownership for your own mistakes.
  2. You can accept that only YOU can feel joyful, peaceful, safe, secure, lovable and worthy. The way you do this is through connection with your inner self  and listening to our intuition

Transference

Transference is:

A psychology term used to describe a phenomenon in which an individual redirects; emotions, feelings, often unconsciously, from one person to another. This process occurs when; one person in a relationship applies feelings towards, or expectations of another person onto another individual such as a partner, colleague, friend etc.  Often, the patterns seen in transference will be representative of a relationship from childhood.  In the workplace transference is often associated with bullying and harassment. This is where one individual projects their feelings, emotions such as anger or frustration onto another employee.

Transference is a common occurrence among humans. It can occur in everyday relationships and they are represented by behavioural patterns in everyday life.

If the person on the receiving end of this behaviour accepts the transference they then become the victim.  This shows the perpetrator that the individual has accepted the baggage. Hence, it is described as the feelings and emotions of the other person. 

What do you do about it? The answer is hand it back, after all it’s not your anger or issue it’s theirs.

Conclusion

Stop being an emotional victim and start living your own authentic life.  Be positive and assertive and stop taking on other people’s baggage and unacceptable behaviour.

To find out more grab a copy of my self-help book. Topics such as Core Values, Emotional Intelligence and Limiting Beliefs and more are discussed https://behind-the-mask-book.com/shop/